Wish you were here….

One of the first things that I found to be difficult during the separation/divorce process was being home alone when my son was with his father.  It’s been 3 years since the whole process started and if I am going to be honest with you, there are still days when I feel lonely and miss him.  There are also times when I look forward to being alone and to have ‘adult time’.  We all need ‘adult time’ whether we are married, dating, divorced….whatever!  It is part of taking care of yourself.

I have learned as time has passed, some helpful ways of adjusting to these times alone while your child/children are away from home.  I’d like to share them with you 🙂

  • Sleep In!! – there is no little one sneaking in as soon as the “sun is awake”; take advantage of this and sleep in until 8am,Hell, maybe you can even make it to 10am!!!
  • Do something for yourself – have you been meaning to go get a mani & pedi, but just didn’t wanna drag the kids along? or is there a home improvement project that you have been wanting to get done with out little hands getting in the way? or do you need your roots touched up? GO AND DO IT! ;-P
  • Spend time with friends – we all know that after we become parents it gets harder and harder to have a social life with worrying about finding a sitter, soccer practice, bedtime, or even getting schedules lined up.  If you have a set custody schedule this helps tremendously in making plans, because you will always know those days/nights that your child/children will be with the other parent.  Take the time to make plans with your good friends, they are a support to help you through the process.
  • Watch a grown-up movie – I’m sure you are well versed in all the recent Disney/Pixar films but what about anything with a rating over PG??  Was there a Rom/Com starring your fave movie heartthrob that you’ve been dying to see? Take yourself to the theater, go rent a RedBox, or make it a girls night!
  • Go to the gym – a lot of times we find reasons to neglect ourselves, especially when it comes to exercise and staying healthy.  Now you have the time to go to the gym right after work, do it!  Physical activity is such a self-esteem booster, a stress reliever and great way to get frustrations out.
  • Do the chores – Ugh, why would I want to do that?!?!?! I found it very helpful to get all my household chores done when I didn’t have my son, so that when he was back home, I had all the time to focus on him and spend making memories with him. 🙂

These are just some of the ways I have found to be helpful when I am on my own.  It takes time to adjust to the changes that separation/divorce brings.  It is important to take care of yourself and to do things for yourself. 🙂



2 thoughts on “Wish you were here….

  1. Hi Emily! I’ve followed you in Instagram for a long time, because we have done some local races together. and I’m excited for your blog!

    I am divorce too. Separated for 4 years, divorced for 3. And I agree with you, time when our kids are away is THE WORST! It really never gets easier, just “manageable”.

    You have an excellent list here! I agree! Plus also, plan races on those weekends! ;~)

    Stay Strong!


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