I have a love/hate relationship with the “On this Day” app from Facebook. Sometimes it brings up memories that I don’t really want to be reminded of, other times it brings up something from my past that is relevant to my present. One example of that was this morning, I was reminded by Facebook that one year ago today I received the official final divorce decree paperwork. That was a pretty significant moment for me.
My divorce process did not follow the cookie cutter process of sign the papers, split the property, wait 90 days and…..POOF! You’re divorced. Mine went a little like this……tell him what you’ve decided, give him the papers, wait 8 weeks while he refuses to move out OR sign the papers, come home to a half-emptied, dirty house and finally, deal with childish silliness for the next 2 1/2 years until you finally get that beautiful piece of paper in the mail!
Just as each person is unique, each divorce process is unique. No matter what you had to deal with or are dealing with now, there are sure to be memories made throughout the experience. I’ve got plenty of uncomfortable, unhappy, extremely sad memories that surface when I look at my divorce decree. But then again, there are also some joyful, happy, surprised memories that I think of when I look at that shiny gold seal. 🙂 What I really push myself to focus on is, what came out of those memories? What did you learn about yourself, who did you realize was truly there for you, why was it a painful memory? It’s hard to think about the answers to those questions. I will be truthful and tell you that I often try to avoid searching for those answers. In the same breath, I will tell you, that the times that I have pushed myself to answer those questions and to truly reflect on those painful memories are the times when I find the most growth and insight.
So, today, I challenge you to face a painful memory and push yourself to a place of understanding and acceptance of the good and the bad. 🙂 Good luck and never give up!!