Change is Easy??

One of the reasons many people love the Fall is because of all the changes in nature….the leaves changing color, the days growing shorter, and the cooler temperatures.  Those changes bring other fun experiences such as, sitting by a camp fire in the cool evening, the crunch of leaves under your feet, and wearing your favorite hoodie while snuggling with someone you love.  Change can be beautiful, exciting and fundamental.

I recently set aside some time to do some introspective thinking.  This time of year seems to always bring me trouble emotionally.  Almost like clockwork, as soon as the days start getting shorter and the cooler temperatures arrive, something clicks in my head.  The negative self-talk becomes almost unbearable, my mood seems to flip flop at the drop of a hat and my self-confidence comes and goes with the sun.

Up until recently, I always attributed it to the change in the weather, that perhaps it was my response to missing the summertime weather and sunshine.  I decided to go a little deeper because…honestly….I’m getting fed up with this yearly occurrence.  After thinking and processing more about this time of year, I realized that, in my life, I have experienced a lot of CHANGE around this time for a large portion of my life. Unfortunately, they were not easy or expected changes.  These changes uprooted me, altered my perspective of the world and simply put….flipped my world upside down.  Which, completely makes sense as to why I become so on edge as this time of year comes close.

I am spending my days waiting for the next shoe to drop, for the next life altering situation to happen. I am so busy stressing and being scared of what may happen that I am not living in the moment. I am missing out on some memorable experiences.

This understanding has opened doors for me. Doors that may take me some time to finally make my way through but such a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders by simply making that realization.  I see very clearly what is holding me back and what I need to overcome.

Depression, anxiety and low self-worth will always be obstacles in my way, but to hell with allowing them to take over my life anymore. My life is mine to have and experience and I will……..



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